Unlike earlier Sims games, The Sims 4 didn’t launch with a built-in attraction system. For years, there was no automatic way for the game to judge attractiveness or shape a Sim’s romantic preferences. That changed with the addition of Sexual Orientation settings.
This feature lets you define specific attraction parameters for each Sim, including which gender they’re naturally drawn to romantically.
Once set, a Sim will generally reject romantic advances from Sims outside their stated preference.
These settings also support:
- Straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, or aromantic orientations
- Orientation shifts through gameplay, if you enable romantic exploration in the settings
- WooHoo Partners, a no-strings-attached option for Sims who aren’t interested in a full relationship but still want a physical connection
Overall, this system makes romantic gameplay more flexible and better reflects a wider range of real relationship dynamics.
If you’d rather skip the newer settings, the classic approach still works fine. You can still build attraction manually through gameplay:
Use Friendly interactions to build rapport.
Move into Romantic interactions once the relationship is ready.
Keep building the relationship over time until it’s strong enough for a serious commitment, like marriage.
This is closer to how relationships worked in the base version of The Sims 4 before Sexual Orientation settings existed, and it’s still a valid way to play if you prefer building attraction organically rather than pre-defining it.
If you want something closer to The Sims 2’s old Chemistry system, where Sims could size up a room and find their best match instantly, a few mods fill that gap.
The Chemistry System
This mod builds attraction around personality, skills, and appearance. You can manually set which traits, skills, or appearance factors matter, or let the game randomize preferences. Sims with matching traits bond faster, becoming friends or romantic partners more easily. More details are available on the mod creator’s Patreon page.
WickedWhims
WickedWhims includes its own attraction system as one of its many modules, and you can enable just that piece without using the rest of the mod.
When it finds a match between two Sims, you’ll get a notification along the lines of one Sim sensing the other might find them attractive.
Worth noting: WickedWhims is primarily known as an 18+ mod that adds mature and explicit content to the game.
WonderfulWhims
For a lighter alternative, WonderfulWhims offers a range of relationship enhancements, including its own attractiveness system, without pairing it with WickedWhims’ more mature content.
Which Should You Use?
Built-in Sexual Orientation settings: Best if you want a straightforward, no-mod way to define preferences and orientation.
Traditional relationship building: Best if you’d rather let attraction develop naturally through interactions.
Mods: Best if you want a deeper, Sims 2 style Chemistry system with more granular control over what makes two Sims click.